The Haunting of David Rossi
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when David Rossi's tiny Italian mother makes an unexpected reappearance in his life. Please read & review! Co-auth'd with tonnie2001969.
1. Chapter 1

**The Haunting of David Rossi**

**Chapter One**

Striding off the elevator with a purposeful step, Graciella Rossi looked around as she tightened her arms around the silver urn clutched in her arms.

"Don't drop me," AnnaMaria Rossi warned.

"I'm not going to drop you, Mother," Graciella bit out, refusing to even look at the ghostly specter next to her hovering an inch off the ground. Out of sight, out of mind, out of sight, out of mind, Graciella mentally chanted.

"In those heels, this is debatable. Really, did you have to choose the ones that make you look like a streetwalker?" AnnaMaria asked.

"Mother, these are four hundred dollar shoes," Graciella hissed in spite of herself, giving in and glaring at the…the…the…THING…that had insisted on accompanying her wherever she went.

"And yet, you'll find them on the common trollops standing at the street corner," AnnaMaria tsked, clutching her transparent black handbag closer to her transparent blue dress. "In my day, a true lady knew the necessity of accessorizing."

"Mother, please! Your day ENDED over a year ago!" Graciella hissed, looking around as she began drawing stares from the desks surrounding her in the BAU bullpen.

"Ay! For the days when women were ladies," AnnaMaria lamented, ignoring the last part of her daughter's statement.

"I'm sure you'll see plenty of ladies during your year with Davie," Graciella bit out, striding toward the center of the maze of desks. She no longer cared who she made contact with, as long as it was another sentient human being that could be conned into receiving the remains, and accompanying ghost, of her mother. Her mother who was supposed to be DEAD!

"I'm sure," a very dead but animated AnnaMaria snorted, very un-ladylike as she pursed her lips. "Since his last two wives were such paragons of virtue."

"You'll have plenty of time to take it up with him, Mother," Graciella said out of the corner of her mouth, striding toward a tall black man watching her. Smiling tightly, she forced herself to use the manners that had been ingrained in her since childhood as she asked, "Excuse me? Could you direct me to David Rossi's office, please?"

"Ah, now this is a man," AnnaMaria said approvingly, looking Derek up and down with her twinkling translucent eyes. "Look at the strong set of shoulders on him. Ask him if he is single, Gracie!"

"Mother," Graciella snapped out of the corner of her mouth, willing the evil woman to listen for once. "Would you please shut up!"

"I'm sorry?" Derek Morgan said, looking around confused. Normally the crazies were stopped at the front gate. He was going to have a chat with security; that was for certain.

"Nothing," Graciella said quickly, flashing a reassuring smile that never reached her eyes. "David Rossi, please." she said pleadingly.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry," a soft feminine voice said from behind her. "He's in a meeting. Would you like to wait?"

"I told you your brother was busy man," AnnaMaria reproved, shaking her stiffly-done coif. Sometimes she felt like her daughter never listened to her anymore.

"Yeah, so busy he couldn't reply via phone, fax or email on when he was gonna pick YOU up!" Graciella hissed, frustration leaking into every word. If her brother thought he was going to weasel his way out of fulfilling his filial duties, he was sadly mistaken.

Exchanging a look with Derek and Spence, JJ tilted her head at the dark haired woman in front of her. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Who was supposed to be picked up by whom?"

Lifting startled eyes to the blond woman, Graciella quickly smiled, "Uhmm, my brother, Davie…I mean David Rossi was supposed to pick up our mother, but evidently he hasn't had time to make arrangements with me. So, I'm here to deliver her. In person."

"Ma'am," Spencer Reid said carefully, standing up and approaching the woman in what he hoped was a non-threatening manner, "David Rossi's mother has been dead for over a year."

"Oh! I know! I brought her to him," Graciella said hurriedly, hefting the silver urn onto Derek Morgan's desk. And in that moment, she couldn't explain it, but she felt relieved. Amazing, totally, and completely relieved!

"If you'll just wait a -" Emily Prentiss said, rising from behind her desk and approaching in the same manner as Reid.

"They think you're crazy, daughter," AnnaMaria said wisely, her best cherub expression on her recently-departed wrinkled little face.

"Got that memo! Thanks!" Graciella blurted, no longer even bothering to lower her voice. She was steps away from freedom. Steps! And she was not about to blow it now.

"What memo?" Spence asked, his eyes widening as he watched the strange woman in front of him start to clench her fists.

"Nothing!" Graciella moaned, shaking her head from side to side as she pulled her handbag closer. "Just tell Davie that my obligation has been fulfilled to our mother! It's his turn," she said, backing away from the desk quickly.

"Wait!" JJ and Emily said in unison, stepping quickly to try to intercept the woman.

"Graciella Maria Rossi Nobbio," AnnaMaria called sharply, turning to glare at her rapidly retreating daughter, "You will NOT abandon me with strangers! It's tacky!"

"No, no…I've gotta run. Just please remind him, I've DONE my part. It's his turn now. Oh, and tell him good luck! He'll need it!" Graciella yelled over her shoulder, sprinting onto the elevator and the waiting freedom. And the double martini that she was going to drain in one gulp just as soon as she locked herself back into her finally ghost-free home!

As four sets of eyes stared at the tall, Italian woman in shock, Emily asked, "What the hell was all that about?"

"How did that woman make it past security?" Spence said, shaking his head. "She kinda reminded me of my mom, and not in the good way either!"

"Better damn question," Morgan yelped, staring in horror at the engraved urn deposited in the center of his blotter. "Who's gonna get the dead lady OFF MY DESK!"

"Even better question. Who IS the dead lady?" JJ asked, cocking her head sideways as she tried to determine what had just happened. Glancing up toward Rossi's office, she saw his door was still closed. So much for him unraveling this mystery for them.

"Don't care. I don't want her final resting place to be my freaking desk," Morgan said, backing away from the urn.

Hovering closer to the young blonde, AnnaMaria said with a tone that can only be perfected by a mother, "Young lady, that man needs to learn some manners. You look like you would know how to treat a guest in YOUR home."

"Well, somebody has to look at it," Emily said, edging away.

"Cowards," JJ mumbled, taking a step forward to look at the engraved name on the urn. Slowly, she recited, "AnnaMaria Dannato Rossi". Taking a step back, her eyes widened. "Holy crap, it really IS Rossi's mother."

"Praise God. She's not as blonde as she looks," AnnaMaria Rossi's ghost smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

"Look, I don't care if it's the Pope's mother himself," Morgan exclaimed from his position ten feet away. "I want it OFF my desk." Pointing up toward the balcony level, Morgan said, nodding furiously, "Rossi has his own desk in his own office. Take HIS mother to HIS office and put her on HIS desk!"

"Young man, we do not speak of the blessed Holy Father in that tone of irreverence," AnnaMaria chided as she waved a ghostly finger toward the bald man in the corner. "Have you no shame?"

"Did anybody else just feel that cold breeze?" Morgan muttered, glancing suspiciously up toward the air vent. Why would the building maintenance have on cool air in the middle of winter?

"Calm down, fraidy cat," Emily chuckled, grinning widely. "It's not like the woman is gonna come back from the hereafter and haunt you."

"Well, by the state of Rossi's sister, that might not be the truth," JJ added, eyes twinkling as she picked up the urn and headed toward the stairs.

"Where are you going, JJ?" Reid asked, eyes wide as he saw the blonde walking determinedly.

"Taking care of a situation," JJ said, succinctly. "It's time David Rossi's mother was reacquainted with her son, don't you think?"

Hefting the heavy urn into her arms as Morgan grimaced, JJ looked around at her co-workers. "Anybody wanna come with me?" JJ asked hopefully, her footsteps hesitating as she gave her cowardly co-workers one last chance to join her on this mission.

"Do I get to throw his mama's ashes at him?" Morgan growled, frowning at the metal in her arms.

"I beg your pardon!" AnnaMaria yelped indignantly, waving a ghostly arm around as she slid in place next to JJ. "Young man, I'll have you know that I had no intentions of ending up in that container to begin with, let alone scattered across my son!"

"Morgan, I don't exactly think this is Dave's version of a practical joke," JJ sighed, shifting the container to her other arm. At least she hoped this wasn't a joke. If it was, and David Rossi was aware of it, then he might just be joining his mother in the hereafter much sooner than he planned.

"Yeah, right…that guy knows how I feel about cremation," Derek retorted, flashing angry eyes at Dave's closed door. "Gives me the willies," he shuddered.

"It was not exactly picnic for me," AnnaMaria's ghost muttered. One moment, she was happily minding her own business, sliding a lovely lasagna in her oven. Next thing she knows, she and the lasagna had more in common than she'd like to admit.

"So, that's a no from Morgan," JJ smiled. "Emily? Spence?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she glares from co-worker to co-worker.

Giving her a fake sympathetic look, Emily held up a file, waving the red folder for good measure. "Sorry, Jayje, reports, you understand."

"Yeah, I understand that you are the master of avoidance," JJ replied, narrowing her eyes at the black-haired woman.

"It works," Emily shrugged, breathing a sigh of relief as she watches JJ turn her attention elsewhere.

Rolling her eyes, she turned to Reid. "Spence?" JJ said brightly. Maybe she could convince one of them that this could be an adventure!

"Uh…noooo," Spencer drawled, refusing to meet JJ's eyes. He was a wise man, and he knew that if he made eye contact with the woman, he would be a dead man. And one dead person in the room was more than enough, thank you very much.

"What's your excuse?" JJ snapped, propping her empty hand on her hip.

"Uhmm, don't wanna?" he said weakly, sinking back into his seat and wondering if he could hide under his desk. There was plenty of room under there, of that he was certain. He had been there before!

"Big bad FBI agents, my fanny," JJ growled.

"I agree. They hardly seem as brave as my Davie," AnnaMaria agreed, floating toward JJ's side. It was time to get this show on the road, she thought. Otherwise, who knew how long this young lady would be trying to convince these yellow-bellies to join them? Leaning toward JJ, AnnaMaria's ghost flitted oh-so-closely next to JJ as she added, "You and I go see my son. I can't wait to see my Davie."

Shivering slightly at the sudden blast of air in the room, JJ turned and marched toward the stairs, urn firmly secured in her capable arms. "You guys are a lot of help!" she called over her shoulder, wondering why she even tried with that group.

"Don't drop me, dear," AnnaMaria said with a wince as she watched JJ hurry up the metal steps. "Your shoes are almost as bad as my Grace's," she moaned.

Shifting the urn carefully to one arm and holding on tightly, JJ pounded on Rossi's closed door. She no longer cared if he was in a real meeting or in a pretend meeting. Either way, he was about to deal with his problems and leave her alone.

JJ could hear his muffled voice, then a loudly called, "What the hell do you want?"

"That boy never could learn to watch his language," AnnaMaria confided to an oblivious JJ. Shaking her head, she said with a sigh, "All those mouth washing apparently were just a waste of good Ivory soap."

Turning the door knob, JJ kicked the door to open it further as she stalked into the room and came face to face with David Rossi still talking on the phone, feet propped on his desk. Raising an eyebrow as his brow furrowed, Rossi looked questioningly at JJ and said, "Can it wait, JJ? I'm on the phone."

"David Roberto Rossi," AnnaMaria snapped sharply, her tone perfected from years of raising recalcitrant children. "You stand when a lady enters the room! Have you forgotten everything I taught you?"

JJ grins grimly as she shakes her head, and says with a glare, "No, it can't. Unless you want me to leave your mother on your doorstep."

Rossi looks confused, then says into his phone, "Let me call you back." Dropping the phone to his desk as he disconnected, Rossi stood up and walked around his desk, saying carefully, "JJ, my mother passed over thirteen months ago. If this is some sort of joke…"

"No joke, Dave, unless your sister really hates you." Taking advantage of his nearness, JJ easily thrust the urn into his surprised arms as she said sharply, "Apparently it's your turn to take your Mom for an extended visit, Rossi."

"And I expect to be treated much better at your place than at Grace's, Davie." AnnaMarie demanded as she hovered next to her only son. Shaking her head, she lamented, "The disgrace of that girl's home. Not a cleaner, let me tell you. It's a wonder I didn't catch the plague while I was there!"

The moment the urn reached David's hands, he suddenly turned in shock as he heard that voice that he hadn't heard in over a year. His eyes widened in stunned alarm as he said, faltering, "Ma….Mama?"


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N - None of this would be possible without my wonderful co-author, tonnie2001969. As ever, we own nothing._**

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 3**

"Yeah, Rossi. Mama," JJ growled, flustered. "And according to your sister, it's your turn for familial time. She was quite insistent about it."

"Well, she should never have tried to shove me in that closet that first day there with her! The disrespect that girl showed me, Davie! You do better!" AnnaMaria blustered, shaking her transparent head at the memories of her daughter.

"Oh my God," he whispered to a point just beyond JJ's shoulder. "It was true," he said shakily.

"What was true?" JJ asked, glancing over her shoulder in confusion.

"She's here," he whispered. No, he told himself adamantly, it's a hallucination. Damn, he thought he had only had one Scotch last night. But he must have had more. He really had to go easy on that stuff if the effects were going to last this long.

"Well, yes, Dave, she is," JJ said impatiently, "At least, I assume that's her in that tasteful yet extremely heavy urn I was just forced to carry up a flight of stairs." Chafing her arms, JJ muttered crossly looking at the air vents in his ceiling, "And why in the world has maintenance decided to check the air conditioning in January?"

"I don't feel anything," Rossi said absently, barely even hearing the words that the blonde was saying as he stared into the nothingness that was his mother.

"Davie, that's no way to be a gentleman!" AnnaMaria chided as she glided toward him, a definite frown on her face as she came to rest near her son. "Offer the woman your jacket."

I'm not hearing this, I'm not hearing this, Rossi intoned over and over again as he clamped his eyes shut and tried to shake off the feeling of dread that was invading him. Cracking open one eye, carefully, he grimaced as he saw his mother, or what was left of his mother, still standing there, expectantly.

"Dave?" JJ asked, feeling like she was experiencing a strange feeling of déjà vu. His expression was eerily reminiscent of his sister's face from just a few minutes ago. Was there some sort of genetic mutation that had suddenly activated itself in the Rossi clan? Better yet, JJ thought with a groan, was it catching?

Shaking himself, Rossi forced himself to focus on JJ. Pasting on a quick smile, Rossi said, far more confidently than he felt, "Thanks for bringing this up, JJ. I'll be sure to call my sister and let her know I got it." If he could get JJ out of his office, he was certain that he could put an end to this sudden mental shift. Just needed to take a few moments and recharge his batteries. Yeah, that was it.

"I'm sure that's not the only reason you'll be calling Graciella," AnnaMaria muttered as she attempted to drop her purse onto his desk, only to see it fall through the solid object and appear right back in her hand. Of all the things her children had done, having her cremated with her purse was one of the strangest that she had ever heard. And it didn't even match her shoes, which in AnnaMaria's book, was the ultimate sign of tackiness.

Turning to head toward the door, JJ hesitated as her hand reached the knob. Turning, she asked, concern coloring her voice, "Dave, are you sure you're okay?"

"Mmm Hmm," he nodded nervously, placing a gentle hand on her arm to guide her toward the door. Just a few more steps, and he could make sure that JJ would never suspect anything was wrong.

Of course, he wasn't counting on his ghost of a mother to make her presence known again.

"I like this one, Davie. She has manners. Unlike some of those trollops you brought home to meet me. Why couldn't you have brought me a nice girl such as this one?" AnnaMaria chastised while flitting around JJ's body, examining her from all angles. "She even has child-bearing hips! Oh, the grandchildren this one could have given me!" Bending over, Mama examined JJ's skirt. "She wears her skirt too tight though!"

"Her ass is fine, Mama," Dave growled, staring down at JJ's legs in spite of himself.

"Excuse me?" JJ yelped, flipping around quickly as she glared at the man.

"Uhhh...I said 'Her ass is mine'...my sister, you know?" Dave grinned weakly.

"O….kay," JJ said slowly, turning back and reaching for the door. Suddenly, she looked back at Rossi and said, taking a risk, "Dave, I know it can be difficult to deal with the passing of a parent. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm always willing to listen."

"I'll be fine, JJ," Rossi lied easily as he gave her waist a small squeeze. "It's nice of you to offer."

"Just letting you know," JJ said as she stepped out the door.

"You don't want to spend time with this charming thing?" AnnaMaria demanded, nailing her son with a patented glare. "Have you not been listening to a word I say?"

"I heard you the first time," Rossi snapped out softly, casting a frown toward the apparition as he closed his office door.

JJ cast a worried glance at the wooden door, wondering if she should let Hotch know that their Senior Profiler had suddenly developed a strange version of Tourette's. Telling herself that it was none of her business and that everyone grieved in his own manner, JJ turned resolutely and walked toward the steps. And she studiously ignored the sudden yell that came from behind the closed door.


	4. Chapter 4

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 4**

Turning to face his mother's specter, Dave shook his head. "You're a figment of my overly tired imagination. YOU are not really here!" he yelled, waving a finger at her.

"Don't you wave that finger through me, David Roberto Rossi. I spent twenty-seven very grueling hours struggling to bring your miserable carcass into this world, my son. I deserve respect," AnnaMaria said, drawing herself up to her full 5'1" height. "Or perhaps, you'd like to call your sister and ask how I react to disrespect in the afterlife, hmmm?"

"Sorry, Mama," Dave replied quickly, shaking himself as he realized he'd just apologized to an imaginary person.

"Now, tell Mama, why you not approach this woman?" she asked, gesturing at the door. "This...this..."

"Jennifer, Mama," Dave supplied automatically, suddenly wondering if there was a chance that he was dreaming. Surely he would wake up soon. Surely.

Surely not.

"Ah, yes...Jennifer. I like her," Mama nodded approvingly.

"You came back from the grave to debate my choice in women?" Dave asked incredulously, shaking his head at the turn of events.

"I am hoping you have better answers in my death than you did in my life!" AnnaMaria snapped. "Answer the question, my son," she commanded imperiously.

"Mama, you're dead. I was there for the wake," Rossi declared, trying to convince himself of that very statement as he wondered why he was debating a total figment of his imagination. Was this how Reid's mother felt? He might just need to have a chat with the genius' mother very soon. Or join her at Bennington.

"So was I, son," AnnaMaria replied drily, rolling her eyes. When had her children become this trying? Pointing at him with a bony finger, she warned, "But you, my son, are stalling."

"There's nothing between me and Jennifer Jareau," David exclaimed, throwing up his arms as he stalked toward his desk, careful to side step the floating woman in front of him. "We're just friends, Mama."

"Don't lie to your mother," AnnaMaria snapped sharply as she paced in front of him as she continued, scoffing, " My Davie is not "just friends" with a woman that looks like that."

"Dammit, Mama…." he began.

"Don't you curse at your mother! I'll turn you over my knee, young man, no matter how old you are!" AnnaMaria declared, crossing her ghostly arms over her chest.

"I am not hearing this. I am not hearing this," Rossi muttered over and over as he reached for his briefcase, haphazardly stuffing papers in the bag as he glared at the decorative urn sitting firmly in the middle of his desk.

"Where are we going, Davie?" AnnaMaria asked, suddenly looking a bit brighter at the prospect of a trip.

"We're" Rossi emphasized, refusing to look at her again, "not going anywhere. I'M going to my home, where I plan on barricading my doors and hiding under the bed if necessary." Grabbing his bag, he shook his head as he reached for the urn, tucking it firmly under his arm. As far as he was concerned, he was going to make a quick phone call to his sister, and return his mother's remains to her as soon as humanly possible.

"Be careful, son!" AnnaMaria declared, hovering next to him. "I don't appreciate being hauled around like a sack of potatoes. And in case you missed it earlier, wherever you go, I go."

"No, no, no," he muttered, opening his office door quickly. "I refuse to talk to you. You do not exist. You are in the happy hereafter playing a rousing game of hide and seek with Pop. You are not here with me," he mumbled to himself all the way down the stairs.

As his co-workers gathered around the bullpen, the exchanged looks with each other.

"Okay, now I'm concerned," Emily muttered to JJ, her eyes following the erratic movements of her coworker.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" JJ asked, narrowing her eyes at the man that seemed to be holding an animated conversation with himself.

"I believe he's what Garcia would call "cracked"," Reid surmised, leaning back in his chair. "Or he's experiencing a schizophrenic break," he shrugged. Been there, seen that more than once, Reid thought.

"Hey, as long as he's taking the dead lady out of here, I'm good," Morgan muttered, studiously avoiding looking at the dark urn in the Senior Profiler's arms.

Stalking past his coworkers, not even noticing their concerned stares, Rossi kicked the glass door open as he struggled with the items in his arms. He smiled tightly as he promised himself, muttering, "Get home and get a Scotch. Get home and get a Scotch." And if he was lucky, he could drink himself into a stupor, then wake up and all of this nightmare would be gone.

"I can hear you, you know," AnnaMaria said pleasantly from his left shoulder, following him onto the elevator. "Your sister tried the same thing. I tried to tell her that a lady never drinks more than one cocktail. The words that she used then!" Tsking, AnnaMaria said, "I also told her that a real lady would have never used such language with the living or the dead!"

"If you didn't like what Graciella had to say, then you definitely won't like what you're gonna hear from me when we get home," Rossi muttered in spite of himself as he shifted the urn again, willing the elevator to reach the bottom floor.

"I want my own room at your home this time, Davie. Preferably one with plenty of sunlight," AnnaMaria demanded imperiously. "That closet at your sister's left plenty to be desired." Shaking her head, she muttered, "Stuffed me a closet. Of all things."

And as David Ross listened to the ghost of his mother rant about rooms and views and the cramped conditions of the hereafter, he knew then, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was definitely losing his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N – Hello all! Let me begin by thanking everyone reading this story. I received an anonymous review yesterday that indicated they were "annoyed" by the pairing in this story. To that anonymous person, I apologize, but this WILL be a JJ/Rossi pairing (as indicated on CM's master page). Thank you again to everyone taking the time to read, follow and review this story. I truly appreciate it! Readers, you're the best._

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 5**

Turning over in her bed, JJ told herself that she was dreaming. Cracking open one eyelid, she peered at the illuminated green digits on her alarm clock. 2:00 am. Yeah, she had to be dreaming. No one in their right mind would be banging on her condo door at two in the morning. Turning on her side, she closed her eyes again, but that obnoxious sound continued. Finally, throwing off the covers, she sat up in bed and listened.

"Damn it, JJ, I know you're in there!" she heard a familiar voice yell, his words panicked.

"What the hell?" she muttered, slipping out of bed and grabbing her short robe from the end of the bed as she quickly scooted to her front door. Jerking it open, she was met with a sight that would be permanently ingrained in her memory. Of that, she had no doubt.

A completely disheveled David Rossi stood on her doorstep, clutching tightly what appeared to be the same urn that JJ had delivered to his office earlier that evening. His hair stuck out in at least twelve different ways, as if he had continually ran his fingers through it in fits of hysteria. Cocking her head sideways for a better view in the dim porch light, JJ was fairly certain that his jacket was on inside-out, and glancing down, she realized that he was definitely wearing mismatched shoes.

And that was just his physical appearance. The crazed look in his eyes was something else altogether.

This was definitely not the David Rossi that she was accustomed to seeing.

"What in damnation took you so long?" Rossi demanded as he pushed by her into the foyer.

"Come right on in, Dave," JJ said sarcastically, sighing as she closed and locked the door behind him. "You just in the neighborhood and thought you'd drop by for a visit?"

"Davie, where are your manners?" AnnaMaria asked stridently, appearing next to him as he plopped the urn down on the hallway table. "That is no way to great a hostess who has graciously allowed you into her home!"

"Would you please just shut up for two minutes?" Rossi moaned, pressing his hand to his forehead as he tried to still the migraine that had been raging just behind his left eye for the last eight hours. Every possible remedy had failed, including the age-old, tried-and-trued double scotch.

"I beg your pardon?" JJ snapped out, turning on her heel to face him as she glared at his choice of words.

"Damn it, JJ!" Dave yelped, frustrated, realizing what she was thinking. "Not you! Her!" he growled, jabbing a finger at JJ's coat rack.

"There's nobody there, David," JJ said carefully, studying the handsome older man with a mixture of concern and trepidation. Had he truly gone round the bend and the whole team had missed the signs? What type of profilers were they?

"Yes, there is," Dave insisted, adamantly shaking his head. "She's here. I spent a year telling Gracie she was crazy, but she wasn't. She isn't. She's here! And she WON'T leave!" he moaned, dropping his chin to his chest in despair.

"Who!?" JJ asked, confused.

"My mother," he said flatly, refusing to meet her eyes. It was hard enough to say that outloud to someone else, let alone watch them respond in disbelief.

"Really, Davie! Is that any way to introduce me? Tell me I taught you better manners than this!" AnnaMaria huffed, her ghostly fingers tightening on her ever present black purse as she pursed her lips in irritation.

"I apologize, Mama. I guess I tend to forget my manners when I'm in the middle of a freaking psychotic break!" Dave yelled at his mother, letting out a sigh of pure anger as he rounded on his heel to face the corner.

Watching Dave bark at her coat rack, JJ briefly wondered if she'd entered an alternate dimension. She'd not had a nightcap before bed, had she? Maybe, she told herself, she should have!

Turning to face a bemused JJ, Dave took a deep breath as this time he met her eyes. Buck up, Rossi, he told himself. Be a man. With a firm nod to himself, he said, slowly, "Jen, I need your help. I'm being haunted by a spirit."

"Which one? Glenfiddich or Glen Livet?" JJ asked blankly, wondering if she had any hard liquor in the house. Right now, she was fairly certain that both of them could use a shot. Or two. Or three.

"I'm not drunk," he insisted, taking a step toward her. "See? Sniff me?" he ordered, blowing quickly in her face.

Immediately recoiling as the smell of garlic assaulted her nostrils, JJ scrunched her nose. "My God! Did you eat an entire clove of garlic, Rossi?"

"I tried to tell him it wouldn't work, dear," AnnaMaria's ghost said, sadly shaking her head.

"I ate three, JJ, and I swear to God that whoever invented that so-called cure apparently had no idea what they were talking about!" Rossi ranted as he paced erratically in her small foyer, his shoes plopping hard against the tile.

"Cure for what, Dave?" JJ asked, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to dissipate the lingering odor.

"Cure for that!" Rossi roared, pointing once again at the coat rack sitting innocently in the corner.

"You'll have to excuse my son," AnnaMaria said with a condescending smile, addressing an unaware JJ. "You think you've raised your children well, then they take great delight in proving you wrong."

"David, I know we've had a long month, what with being on the road for 24 days straight," JJ started slowly, smiling what she hoped was a non-threatening smile toward the obviously distraught man, "And it might be hard to recognize simple things. What you're pointing at is my eighteen-year old coat rack. And I'm sure it's not out to get you, nor do you need a cure to protect yourself against it."

"I'm not talking about…Oh hell," Rossi ground out as he slumped against the wall, willing himself to stay in this dimension. Raising his eyes to JJ, he asked, dejected, "You really can't see her, can you?"

"I can tell you for certain that there're only two people in here right now," JJ said slowly, taking a step closer to him.

"I told you earlier when you were trying to take my picture, Davie, that only my family can see me. It's part of the curse," AnnaMaria said slightly impatiently, wagging her head in disappointment. "Once again, you're listening skills leave much to be desired."

"She's here, JJ," Dave whispered frantically. "My mother is here!"


	6. Chapter 6

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 6**

"Dave, your mother is dead," JJ corrected gently, quickly deciding that if he didn't do it willingly, then she was going to find a way to get him to speak to a professional, preferably one that still used straight jackets and electroshock therapy.

"Doesn't matter, she's still here. With us," Dave insisted, grabbing her hand and clutching it, grateful for the warmth from her body seeping into his. "I can't make her go away!"

Licking her lips, JJ gently drew her frazzled co-worker toward her couch, easing them both down into the buttery leather as she assured him, "Dave, she'll always be with you."

"Don't SAY that! She can hear you!" Dave gasped, shooting a desperate look at the coat rack.

"She thinks that you are crazy, my son," AnnaMaria commented dryly from her vantage point. When would this boy learn?

"I'm NOT crazy," he insisted, leaning forward to hiss toward the coat rack, staring daggers at his smirking dead mother. He just KNEW that woman was enjoying every single horrid moment of this!

"Of course you aren't," JJ soothed, rubbing a hand across Dave's tense shoulder blades. Maybe the team had been pushing him too hard recently, she thought. Between all of those cases, writing that book, and taking care of all of them, he might have finally reached his breaking point.

"And now, she's placating you," Mama snorted. "Does this girl not own a decent robe?" Mama said, eying JJ's silky short robe with a disapproving shake of her head. Young women these days.

Glancing at JJ, Dave shook his head as he eyed the short fabric and long shapely legs of the woman beside her. "I think her robe is fine," he snorted, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"My robe?" JJ asked, glancing down in confusion. "What's wrong with my robe?"

"You don't wanna know," Dave moaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"Yes, I do!" JJ replied indignantly.

Sighing, Dave leveled JJ with a serious look as he recited, knowing that he was going to regret this, "Mama says that robe is highly inappropriate for receiving gentlemen callers in the dead of night. That it's how nice girls find big trouble."

Gasping, JJ pulled the robe down on her thighs, valiantly tugging at the silky fabric. "Well it isn't as though I exactly thought I'd be receiving guests!" JJ said defensively.

Looking at the coat rack, Dave asked, "Happy now, Mama? You've offended the only one you liked!"

"Tell her that I'm only looking out for reputation, Davie," AnnaMaria replied as she suddenly perched on the edge of the chair next to the couch. "A young lady only gets one, you know, and she does not want to be known as a common trollop!"

"She's not a trollop, Mama!" Rossi exclaimed, straightening up his back as he glared at his demented mother.

"A what?" JJ yelped, still tugging at her robe. Glaring in indignation, she snapped, "I'll have you know I've never been called such a thing in my life, David Rossi."

"It. Wasn't. Me!" Rossi groaned out slowly, waving his hand toward the blue recliner in the corner. "It was her!"

Incredulously, JJ looked over at the chair, then pointed at the coat rack as she asked, confused, "I thought you said she was over there. Did she move?"

"Hell, she flits and flashes around. She's managed to pop up everywhere I've tried to hide! In the closet! In the bathtub! As in life, she has no problem knowing exactly where I'll be!" he bit out, still glaring at the seemingly vacant chair.

"Dave, are you sure that you aren't-"

"I'm not drunk, JJ! Do you think I wanted to come here? I tried calling Gracie...she won't return my calls. I called Jimmy! I thought if anybody could help me, it'd be a priest!"

"What did he tell you?" JJ asked, wondering if she needed to have a chat with the man of God herself.

"Who knows? I couldn't hear anything over the laughter," Dave moaned, remembering the conversation in detail. That man was going to hear about this later, Rossi thought darkly. And it wasn't going to be in the confessional, either.

"I still can't believe that boy grew up to be a priest," AnnaMaria muttered, picking at the lint on JJ's chair. "She doesn't have much time to clean, does she?" Mama tsked, delicately letting the lint drop from her ghostly fingers.

"Her housekeeping skills are the least of my worries, Mama," Dave growled as he tried to remember the last time he had had a coherent thought that wasn't interrupted by his dearly departed mother.

"She's criticizing my housekeeping, now?" JJ wailed, looking around her living room. She tried, she told herself. But she was a working girl. She didn't have time to scrub every day!

"Tell her it's cleaner than your sister's house, Davie! I don't want this beautiful woman thinking I'm a shrew," AnnaMaria said worried, floating across the floor towards him.

Moving unconsciously closer to JJ as his mother wafted toward him, "It's cleaner than Gracie's," Dave said quickly, leaning into JJ as his mother perched beside him. "I told her!" he hissed. "Get back over on your side of the room now!"

"She moved again?" JJ yelped, sliding much closer to Rossi as she added, eyes flitting around the room, narrowing in hopes of seeing the ghost, "Where is she? Where is she now?"

"Honestly, Davie, she's a bit high strung, don't you think?" AnnaMaria said as she peered around Dave to get a better look at JJ. She's such a pretty young thing. Too bad she might have emotional problems.

"Mama, you can't blame her for her demeanor when we woke her up at 2 AM to tell her that YOU'RE a ghost, remember?" Rossi sighed, wrapping his arm around JJ's shoulders. Maybe there would be safety in numbers.

"What did she say now, David?" JJ asked, then added, quickly, in amazement, "And when did I suddenly believe that she was really here?"

Rossi patted her shoulder as he said, knowingly, "Trust me, babe, it happens. At least you didn't think you were crazy for four freaking hours before you accepted it."

"But, why? Why is she ...HAUNTING …you?" JJ asked, peering suspiciously around her living room for signs of paranormal activity. "And what does she want?"

"I WANT to know why Davie let those idiot daughters of mine cremate me rather than bury me next to their father WHERE I BELONG! I told them all years ago that if they didn't follow my wishes, I'd be back to haunt them. I never realized that was a binding contract with the Almighty!" Mama said, waving a ghostly arm around animatedly.

"She's mad at us," Dave muttered, watching his mother began to do the ghostly version of pacing.

"Of course I'm mad at you! My children never could follow simple instructions!" AnnaMaria railed, her purse slapping against her hip in time with her steps.

"Mama," Dave sighed, wondering if this was a truly futile cause. "I've explained over and over...the girls just wanted to keep you close to us."

"And visiting a graveyard every now and again was just too much trouble, yes? Instead, you burn me up in this god awful dress and black handbag and cart my ashes from house to house," Mama said sharply, turning to glare at her only son.

"It seemed like a good plan at the time," Dave mumbled, deciding that this conversation had taken a decidedly negative turn. "None of us thought it would come back to haunt us." Turning tired eyes to JJ, he explained, knowing the blonde had to be wondering, "We had her cremated instead of buried next to our father despite her express wishes."

"And, now, thanks to my children, that rude Saint Peter won't let me past the gates until one of my children find a way to break the curse. He was such a rude concierge," Mama huffed as she continued her trek around the room.

Trying not to focus on the fact that she was privy to a conversation with a ghost, JJ focused instead on the practicality of the situation as she asked, "Can't you just have her interred next to your father, then? It wouldn't be that hard, and you would be able to fulfill her final wishes."

"Finally!" AnnaMaria exclaimed as she stopped, looking at JJ in approval. "One of these living beings has a solution rather than just wailing around like incompetent fools!"

Rossi grimaced at JJ's suggestion, knowing that he was about to tell her, and his eavesdropping mother, the truth. May as well get it over with, he thought. The truth would not get any prettier with time. "Well," he hedged, glancing back at the ghostly penetrating eyes of his waiting mother, "That might not be exactly possible."


	7. Chapter 7

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 7**

"What do you mean, not possible?" JJ and AnnaMaria asked at the same time, causing Rossi to glance from ghost to woman, paranoia invading him once again.

"You two are now officially scaring me," Rossi muttered, wondering if he was experiencing a parallel universe. Didn't Reid talk about them all the time? Looking at JJ, he said, seriously, "You sure you can't hear her?"

"Quit stalling, son, and answer my question" AnnaMaria demanded, whacking his shoulder with her translucent purse.

"Why won't it work?" JJ asked again, watching as Rossi suddenly grabbed his shoulder and said, "Quit that!"

"Dave?" JJ asked slowly, eyes once again widening.

"She's beating me now, JJ, with that horrid purse she insists on carrying." Sighing, he says sharply, aiming toward his mother, "Mama, if you'll quit, I'll answer you both, I promise."

"See, dear," AnnaMaria says conspiratorially, leaning toward JJ again, "It never hurts to use a bit of persuasion when he doesn't listen well."

"Shut up, Mama," Rossi mutters, then says, letting the words flow out of his mouth quickly, "The plot next to Pop is already taken and there's no more space in that section of the cemetery."

"What!" AnnaMaria exclaimed, eyes widening in deadly shock. "You gave some stranger my spot?"

"I didn't!" Rossi yelped, wincing as he watched his mother's purse disappear through his shoulder again. "My sister Arabella did! Blame her! She's the one that said you were never gonna use it!"

"When did the women of the Rossi family begain making all the decisions?" his mother blustered in anger and agitation.

"Since YOU taught them everything you ever knew," Dave retorted, knowing that soon, and very soon, he was going to have a very serious talk with his troublesome sisters.

"Who is it? Who's buried beside my Joseph?" Mama wailed, flashing to float in front of David as she hovered inside his personal space.

"I don't wanna say," Dave muttered, looking at JJ uneasily.

"What's going on?" JJ asked, shivering as a cold chill wracked her body.

"She wants to know who got buried beside Pop," Dave replied nervously.

"Well, tell her! Before she freezes me to death!" JJ ordered, as Dave chafed her chilled arm.

"I don't know if-"

"Who is it?!" JJ and his mother shouted in unison.

"Mary Elizibeth Donatello," Dave said quickly, slamming his eyes shut as his mother's loud Italian curses rent the air around his ears and the lights flickered out.

"Dave!" JJ yelled, immediately huddling closer to him as she tried to focus in the sudden darkness. "Make her quit that!"

Tucking her willing body closer, Rossi says sternly, aiming toward the last location he saw his mother, "Mama, stop that immediately! You're scaring JJ!"

The lights returned as quickly as they had first diminished, and AnnaMaria glared at her son, "For the little one, I did as you ask. But you, my son, you have some explaining to do."

"Mama says she's sorry," Rossi said to JJ, staring into her wide-eyed fearful gaze.

"I accept her apology, Dave. I think." JJ said slowly, willing herself to breath normally once again. Turning to Rossi, she asked, "But who is this Mary Eliz…"

Just the mere mention of the name sent AnnaMaria back into a ghostly stomping and cursing fit, and Rossi visibly winced at the sights and sounds. He muttered, "Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't say that name again. Please!"

"But who is she?" JJ asked again, adding, "And why does that upset your mother so badly?"

AnnaMaria stopped and shifted quickly, plopping down on the ottoman in front of the couple. "You tell her, Davie," she demanded sharply, pointing a bony finger through his shoulder. "You tell her that …that….that….TRAMP tried to take my Joseph! I will NOT have her spend all of eternity in MY plot next to MY husband!"

Groaning, Dave replied, hoping that simplification would save time in the end, "Mama's overreacting."

"I am NOT," AnnaMaria said sharply in reply. "That woman tried to steal your father from me!"

"Pop swore on a stack of Bibles that she was only trying to wipe the stain of his pants, Mama!"

"That TRAMP was trying to cop a feel! You tell her, Davie! This little one, she looks like she would understand!"

"Oh, dear Lord," JJ murmured, as the lights flickered again. Grabbing Dave's thigh, JJ ground out, "Good God, Dave! Are all the Rossi men hound dogs!"

"Hey!" Dave and Mama shouted simultaneously.

"Just asking," JJ said weakly as she shuddered again.

"Tell her, Davie! Tell her that your father, God rest his soul, would have never cheated on me! It was that Mary Elizabeth! She had the morals of an alley cat, and I'm sure that death did not improve her principles!" AnnaMaria declared, bouncing in agitation as she started muttering curses again.

"I notice you didn't bother to defend me there, Mama," Rossi muttered, adding sarcastically, "Really appreciate that."

"She apparently knows you, son," Mama said negligently, hands waving erratically as she bounced from floor to ceiling and back. "She not know your father though! You tell her!"

Watching Rossi start to rub his face in pain, JJ asks, "Dave? Anything going on there?"

"Plenty," Rossi mutters, then looks up. "Mama said to tell you that the woman…."

"Tramp," AnnaMaria interrupts.

"The WOMAN buried next to my father, accidentally I might add, once attempted to seduce my father. And Mama feels that she Mary Elizabeth may attempt to continue her activities in the hereafter."

"Seduce! HA!" AnnaMaria blustered, lights dimming quickly as she said darkly, "Pretty word for ugly woman. "

"But that doesn't matter anymore, right?" JJ asked, naively. "They're dead now, so…."

"Yeah, and look how well that's working for me now. " Rossi moaned, waving his arms toward his mother's specter.

"Okay, Dave. Let's be rational here," JJ said calmly, squeezing his leg in commiseration. Surely between the two of them, they could come up with a great idea to solve this current crisis. Surely.

"Rational? I'm having conversations with my dead mother, JJ. We passed rational a couple of hours back when I was hiding in the bathtub with a bottle of Scotch in my hand!"

"Be that as it may, we've got to reunite your mother in father in the afterlife. Unless you want to spend eternity with her, that is..."

"How?" Dave asked frantically, squeezing her hand with great need. "I can't exactly go digging dad up!"

"No..."JJ said slowly, trying to work the thought out in her mind. "BUT-"

"Keep going, little one!" AnnaMaria ordered, feeling that this little one might be closest to finding the right solution.

"We could take her to him," JJ suggested simply.


	8. Chapter 8

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 8**

"You'd need to change first. The cemetery would be a bit drafty with what you're wearing," AnnaMaria frowned in judgment. Flashing her eyes to her son, she repeated, "Tell me again...why you not marry THIS one?"

"Not the time to answer that one right now, Mama," Rossi said firmly. He turned back to JJ and asked, carefully, hoping against hope that this idea would work, "And once we get her there? Do you propose to just prop her urn up again the tombstone and run?"

"You leave me in that urn and I'll figure out a loophole in the curse to come back and…." AnnaMaria threatened, raising her purse in warning.

"Okay, okay!" Rossi threw up his hands in defense. "So that's not the plan."

"I don't know what she just said, but I agree. We have to figure out a way to get her with your father," JJ said, thinking out loud. She leaned her chin on her hand as she said, carefully, "Maybe we could…"

"If you're thinking of digging up my father, you're out of your mind, woman," Rossi growled weakly, leaning back against the leather couch and pulling her with him.

AnnaMaria flittered around the room, muttering as she threw out, "Let the little one finish her thoughts, Davie. She's apparently smarter than you are. At least SHE's looking for solutions!"

"You through, Mama?" Rossi asked with a sigh. Seeing his mother's terse nod, he turned to JJ and said tiredly, "Keep going, Jen. What's your idea?"

"What if we scatter your mom's ashes on your dad's grave? They can be together forever and your mother can definitely stand between your father and this Mar…."

He plopped his hand over her mouth as he hissed, "Trust me, don't say it." He then said, "Mama? Will that allow you the closure that you need?"

Translucent hands landing on her lips, Mama pursed her lips thoughtfully. "It could work. And it couldn't hurt anything."

"She's on board," Dave said, releasing a relieved breath.

Nodding, JJ patted his arm. "That's wonderful, Dave. You two have fun with that."

"Whoa! Wait! Whatdaya mean, "you two"? We're in this together!" Dave exclaimed, jerking to look at her with horrified eyes. David Rossi was an educated, smart man, and he was definitely smart enough to realize when he needed backup!

"Uh, uh. Noooo. I draw my line in the sand at visiting dark cemeteries in the dead of night!" JJ said, shaking her long blonde hair. "I had enough of that during the teenage years," she muttered.

"No. You said if there was something you could do, not to hesitate in asking you for help. WELL! I'd say this qualifies as needing help! DESPERATE help, Jen," Dave begged. Now was not the time to be prideful, he thought ruefully. Now was the time to do whatever necessary to get this woman to help.

"He's right, little one. He needs you," Mama agreed, bending over to speak in JJ's ear.

Shivering, JJ nearly leapt into Dave's lap as she felt a cool gust of air against her ear. "Dave, tell your mother to step away," she whispered, grabbing his hand.

"Such a pretty girl, Davie. If only we could get her to put on some clothes," AnnaMaria said, staring disapprovingly at JJ's nightwear again.

"She's fine, Mama," Dave growled.

"What?" JJ asked, alarmed. She couldn't believe she was about to admit this, but she desperately wanted to know what the ghost was saying about her.

"She's half naked, Davie," his mother chastised with a sanctimonious shake of her head.

"All her important parts are covered," Dave retorted, cocking his head toward his mother.

"She looks like a stripper in that nightdress," Mama argued, her eyebrows rising to her non-existent hairline.

"She does NOT look like a stripper!" Dave yelled, not even thinking about who else would be listening.

"A stripper?" JJ yelled back, her face horrified at the thought. "I'm not your second wife, thank you very much!"

"You told me she was a Broadway dancer, Davie!" AnnaMaria snapped out, glaring in her ghostly way as her son tightly clenched his eyes. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Rossi sighed as he cracked open one eye, glancing from the live woman to the not-so-alive one with equal trepidation. "Dammit, Jen, did you have to go and tell her that?"

"You said I looked like a stripper!" JJ shot back, glaring. "And you mean to tell me that your mother didn't know that you married a stripper that you met at a stag party?"

"Holy Mother of our Blessed Lord!" AnnaMaria groaned in despair, her voice lapsing into Italian as she yelled, "You told me you met her at Mass!"

Rising quickly, Dave covered his ears and scrunched his eyes closed. "Everybody stop yelling at me!" he shouted. Opening his eyes and dropping his hands, he looked at his mother's ghost. "Yes, Mama, I lied. I'd made a mistake and I knew it! I didn't want to listen to you berate me for it every day of my life - or afterlife, as the case may be!" Turning to JJ, he growled, "AND, she doesn't think you're a stripper. If she DID, she'd get off my back about trying to make you the fourth and final Mrs. Rossi! And before you say anything - I already told her she was NUTS!"

Popping out of her seat, JJ glared at him. "And what exactly is so wrong with me that I would make such a crazy choice for the last Mrs. Rossi? I certainly think I'm a better candidate than the last two daughter- in-laws you gave her!" JJ snapped angrily, jabbing him in the chest with a pointed fingernail.

"Now you've stepped into it, my son," Mama said sagely, an angelic smile on her face as she watched this young woman get the better of her son.

"Actually you pushed me into it, Mama," Dave retorted, shifting to escape JJ's blows.

"But she is right," AnnaMaria said thoughtfully. "She certainly has a better figure than that second one you brought home."

"Look, both of you, could we PLEASE get back to the original thought?" Rossi begged, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to work out the kinks that he was sure his mother had caused. "Cemetery. Ashes. Eternal resting place. Remember?"

"We're coming back to this conversation, Rossi," JJ said ominously, drawing the sash on her robe tighter. "I wanna know why I don't rate as well as your ex-wives!"

"What she said, son," AnnaMaria agreed, waving toward JJ. Tucking her purse tighter against her faded body, she said, "And tell her to at least put on a coat before we leave. She looks like she has a chill, and I don't want my future daughter-in-law to catch a cold."

"You're the one GIVING her the chill, Mama," Rossi ground out, then turned to JJ and said with a deep sigh, "She 's worried for your health if you get sick from the night air. She thinks you need some sort of coat."

"Really?" JJ says, suddenly turning to look around the room as she said brightly, "That's so sweet of her!"

"Oh, no. Hell, no!" Rossi suddenly exclaimed, as he turned JJ by the shoulders and pushed her down the hallway toward what he hoped was her bedroom. "You two will NOT bond, do you hear me? I can barely handle one of you at a time, let alone both of you as a team!"

"I was just being polite!" JJ said, balking as he continued to push. "Dave, where am I supposed to be going?"

"Your bedroom, woman," Rossi answered shortly, then added quickly, before his mother could comment, "By yourself. You need a jacket."

"We haven't established that I'M going ANYWHERE," JJ argued, trying to step around Dave's body.

"If she doesn't go, I don't go, my son!" AnnaMaria chortled from behind JJ.

Taking, JJ's arms gently, Dave took a deep breath, "JJ, PLEASE! You have no idea how much I need you right now! For the first time in the history of my life, my mother actually approves of a woman I know. You HAVE to help me!"

"Fine," JJ spat, turning toward her bedroom. "But, for the record, I'm doing this for your mother! I wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire! Not as good as one of your ex-wives, my Aunt Fanny!"

"I didn't say that!" he yelled to her retreating back. Turning toward his sainted mother, he glared. "Satisfied, now? She may never speak to me again after this!"

"It would serve you right if she didn't, son," AnnaMaria informed him, tapping her shoe against an inch of air, then added, grudgingly, "But she will. I know that look, and that woman is very interested in you. You not mess this up, you hear me?"

Rossi threw up his hands as he ground out, "It's not ME that's trying to sabotage this entire fiasco!"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," AnnaMaria declared piously, a pitying expression on her face.

"Like hell you don't," Rossi muttered, then turned quickly as he saw JJ headed back their way, wearing a long coat and rapidly pulling her hair into the ever-present ponytail.

"Now, that's much better, dear," AnnaMaria said approvingly, nodding kindly at the change. "You are much too nice a young lady to parade around in that floozy outfit."

"Mama approves," Rossi says succinctly, for once judiciously editing before he responded.

"Again, I'm doing this for her," JJ replied, brushing past him without even looking at him. Reaching the door, she turned and glared, "Are you coming or not?"

Rossi sighed, wondering how he'd managed to end up on the receiving end of two women's anger. "Right behind you, Jen," he said with a fake smile as he headed toward the obviously angry blonde.

"Aren't you forgetting something," AnnaMaria asked, whacking him once again on the shoulder for good measure.

"Like I could forget you. You won't let me," Rossi muttered as he stopped to pick up the very urn that had started this adventure to begin with.


	9. Chapter 9

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 9**

Half an hour later, Dave stood side by side with JJ, urn clutched in his hands, staring at the locked wrought iron gate in front of them.

"Well, this isn't good! It's locked," Mama moaned, flitting in front of them in all her agitated glory.

"We can see that, Mama," Dave muttered, bending to examine the lock. Unpickable. Just his luck.

"You don't happen to have bolt cutters in that car of yours, do you, Rossi?" JJ asked.

Snapping his fingers, Dave replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "No, and I took them out just this morning."

Sending her hand through the back of her son's head, Mama snapped, "Watch your tone, young man! This woman, she's helping us!"

Watching as Dave bent forward shivering, JJ raised a brow as she grinned widely. "Hit you again, didn't she?"

"I don't remember her being this violent when she was alive," Dave mused, trying to shake off the chills that were wracking his spine.

"Death changes a woman, son," AnnaMaria said, slightly bitterly, as she flitted back and forth through the iron bars. "Now, quit standing there whining, and use that college education that your father and I sacrificed for and figure a way to get my little JJ over."

"I seem to remember a few student loans in there," Rossi muttered, then said quickly when he saw the purse raise again, "Okay, okay!" Turning to JJ, he looked her up and down, then said, sighing, "Well, we can't get through it, so I guess we're gonna have to go over."

JJ started shaking her head as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth. Propping hands on her hips, she snapped out, "Oh, no, David Rossi. I gave up climbing cemetery fences years ago!"

Staring at the agitated blonde, Rossi asked, eyebrow raised, "You had much experience in breaking and entering into the land of the dearly departed, do you?"

JJ shrugged as she looked toward the fence, saying, "I grew up in a small town. Cow tipping never was my thing, so…."

"Leave the little alone, Davie!" Mama interrupted, her pale form glowing in the moonlight, a threatening tone in her voice.

Turning to JJ, Dave beseeched, heeding that warning, "Honey, please? We're so close!"

Rolling her eyes, JJ huffed, "Oh, fine!." Grabbing the iron fence she tried to find a good grip, but her fingers kept slipping. Now she remembered why she had given this up, she told herself with a sigh. Iron was not known for its climbable properties.

Looking at his mother's ghost then back at JJ, Dave muttered, "I'm gonna have to put you down, Mama, and help her."

"Well, of course, you are," Mama snapped, impatiently. "Look at the little one struggle. Why you just stand there? Be a gentlemen, Davie! I raised you better than this!"

Groaning, Dave bent to drop his mother's urn carefully to the ground, rolling his eyes as he heard, "Don't spill me! I don't want to spend the afterlife with complete strangers walking all over me!" Making sure the urn was steady, he turned to a struggling JJ. Moving behind her his placed his hands underneath her shapely rear, his intent to give her a boost.

Turning abruptly, JJ slapped a hand to his chest, causing him to stumble back a step. "What are you doing?! How in the name of God can you cop a feel with your with your mother watching!" she hissed.

She told me to!" Dave growled toward the lamppost his mother hovered around.

"I most certainly did NOT, little one!" AnnaMaria snapped out, glaring at her recalcitrant son.

"She did not!" JJ yelped, turning to stare at the lamppost, as if hoping the ghost would appear and come to her defense.

"Don't yell at me! I'm helping here, ladies! All I'm trying to do is get JJ over the fence!" Rossi blustered, throwing his hands up as he glared from one angry woman to the other. "Isn't that what we just agreed to do?"

JJ nodded slowly as she narrowed her eyes at him, searching for any hidden motives in his expression. Moving back to the decrepit iron fence, she muttered as she finally found a foothold and pulled up, "Keep your hands in the ten and two position, Rossi."

"And I've got my eyes on you, boy," Mama informed him darkly as she moved closer, a gust of frigid air moving with her.

Shivering again as he carefully placed his hands on JJ's thighs, he asked sarcastically, "Does this meet your approval?"

"Which one of us are you asking?" JJ said as she felt his warm touch through her long coat. She wasn't sure if the shudder was from the nearness of Mama Rossi or her son. But now definitely wasn't the time to work out those minor events.

"Does it matter anymore?" Rossi grunted as he easily boosted the tiny blonde that one last push, helping her to reach the top of the short gate.

Moments later, Dave carefully passed his mother's earthly remains through the fence to JJ as his mother's ghost floated behind her.

"Are you coming, Davie?" AnnaMaria asked, wafting impatiently above the ground. Didn't that boy have any gumption anymore?

Gripping the iron fence, Rossi ground out, "I'm moving as fast as I can, Mama." Hoisting himself up, he watched his mother's ghost and JJ both impatiently tap their feet, side by side.

"Would you hurry!" JJ hissed, looking around, just knowing that they were about to be caught. "This isn't exactly legal, Rossi."

Reaching the top of the fence, Dave threw one leg over. "Not exactly sixteen anymore, babe!"

"Oh, for heaven sake," his mother huffed, levitating toward him as she reached out a ghostly arm to give him a helpful push.

Hurtling toward the ground quickly, Dave landed with an oomph. Staring up into JJ's face, he saw her fight back a smile.

"You only get a 6.0...your landing was a bit rocky," she said, still battling a laugh as she looked at the normally staid profiler sprawled on the ground.

"No wonder she likes you," he grumbled, pulling up and dusting himself off. "We're gonna have a chat soon, Jen, about your lack of loyalty to me during this adventure."


	10. Chapter 10

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 10**

"Enough, my children," AnnaMaria ordered, glancing around in the dark. Flitting back to Rossi, she said, imperiously, "Take me to my Joseph!"

Taking the urn back from JJ, Rossi said, slowly, "Okay, give me a minute," as he scrunched his face, looking to the left and the right.

Rolling her eyes, JJ pulled her coat tighter as she groaned in desperation, "Dave, tell me you didn't drag us out here and don't even know where we're going!"

"You not know where your own father is buried?" AnnaMaria demanded, half-stomping, half-floating toward her son. Raising her purse, she said, pale head shaking, "You not visit your OWN father enough to know his eternal resting place?"

"Please! Both of you," Rossi said, glaring in both directions at once. Waving a hand around, he said, defensively, "In case you have missed it, it's pitch dark out here. And no, Mama, I don't make it a regular habit to visit Pop after midnight. Usually busy sleeping then! So I've got to figure out where we are before we move, thank you very much."

"Figure fast," JJ and AnnaMaria ordered in tandem, both tapping their feet as they stared at the flustered man.

"I hate my life," Rossi whined, looking around as he tried to avoid the glares of both women.

"You'll hate your death more if you not take me to your father, David," AnnaMaria barked, waving a finger in his direction. "I can make eternity very interesting for you!"

"I'll be happy to take care of that little problem for you if you don't start moving soon," JJ growled under her breath, wondering for the umpteenth time how she had EVER let him convince her to participate in this…this…this FIASCO.

"The support I'm receiving from both of you is simply overwhelming," Rossi snapped, feeling his jaw clench as he trudged down a stone pathway. Seeing a familiar tombstone in the distance, Dave stomped to his right, muttering, "This way, I think."

"He thinks. You hear this, little one?" AnnaMaria bemoaned as she flitted next to her son. "His sainted father has been dead for years. Years! But does he know where he is buried? No!"

"Mama," Rossi ground out, automatically reaching out a hand to steady JJ as she stumbled in the darkness, "She can't hear you."

"Oh, I can imagine her words," JJ said quickly, letting her hand settle into Rossi's as they suddenly came upon an elaborately designed marble marker. She had a feeling that they might have just reached their destination, praise the Lord.

Thanking God for once, rather than railing against the fickleness of the deity, Rossi said with a grim smile, "Ladies, allow me to introduce you to the final resting place of Joseph Rossi."

"I never imagined being relieved to see your father's grave, David," JJ sighed, staring at the cut stone that gleamed in the moonlight.

"That makes two of us," Dave muttered. "Well, we're here, Mama. Now, what?"

But AnnaMaria Rossi was paying no attention to her firstborn. Dave watched in semi-horror mixed with amusement as his mother stood over Mary Elizabeth's grave and bounced up and down, ranting, "Ha! Bet you never thought I'd make it here, you trollop! The joke's on you though, yes?"

"What's going on?" JJ whispered as the temperature dropped around them.

Jerking his head toward Mary's grave, Dave muttered, quickly deciding that JJ didn't need to know that his mother's ghost was apparently turning slightly vindictive, "Mama's just having a word with the neighbors."

"I have a feeling I'm better off not knowing the details," JJ said as she inched closer, glancing around, slightly bewildered. She leaned over and whispered, not wanting to disturb whatever is going on in the third dimension around them, "So what do we do now?"

"I know what I'm doing first," Rossi said confidently, stepping over to the end of his father's grave. With a flourish, he sat the heavy urn at the edge of the marker, and then said, rubbing his hand against his jeans, "There. They're together now."

"Does this mean we're done?" JJ asked, cinching the belt on her coat a bit tighter with her free hand. The night air was beginning to creep into her skin, and she wondered if she would ever feel warm again.

"God only knows," Rossi replied, meaning the statement literally and figuratively. He hoped JJ could hear him over the noise his mother was making just feet away. In these past thirteen months, he had forgotten that his mother could rattle the rafters when her temper was provoked.

"What's your mom doing now?" JJ asked. Telling herself it was only polite to ask, she refused to acknowledge the fact that she was actually, truly interested in the ghostly actions of the one woman that seemed to be able to keep David Rossi in line.

Glancing sideways, Rossi grimaced as he watched his mother's spirit climb upon the other woman's small marble tombstone. He would normally have told her not to attempt such feats at her age, but then, considering she was already dead, he didn't feel that she could hurt herself any more.

Shifting her ghostly feet around the marble, Anna Maria glared down at the grass –covered plot as she started doing what appeared to be the tango on the tombstone. "Do you feel me? I am dancing on your grave!" she shrieked, adding some colorful Italian curses from the top of her non-existent lungs.

"Mama!" Dave sighed, "I don't think the Almighty is going to approve of that behavior. You don't wanna get flagged again at the Pearly Gates, do ya?"

"God will understand!" Mama shouted, glaring down at the eternal resting place of her mortal enemy. Looking around, she shouted, "Joseph! Joseph! Don't you hide from me, you coward!"

David Rossi suddenly rose a foot in the air as he heard a familiar voice behind him say, "Ya know, I provided for you my entire life, you'd have thought you coulda done me one small favor. But now, you just had to go and ruin a perfectly good afterlife, didn't you, Davie?"

Gasping in surprise, Dave automatically jerked JJ in front of him as he yelped, "Pop?"


	11. Chapter 11

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 11**

"Your father's here? He's dead, Rossi!" JJ wailed, tightly gripping Rossi's arms as they settled around her waist. Her eyes went in a full 360 degree rotation as she tried to figure out where the newest ghost was. Please, God, oh please, she prayed silently, let this be the last one!

"Who's the doll?" Joseph Rossi inquired pleasantly with a lift of his ghostly eyebrow, moving to stand in front of Rossi and JJ. "This one number three, boy?"

"Don't answer him, Davie!" AnnaMaria snapped sharply, floating off the tombstone as she materialized next to her dead husband. Raising her purse, she whacked through him, yelling, "That's for taking up with that…that…that..TRAMP!"

"Oh my God, they're still fighting. They're still fighting just like they did when they were alive!" Rossi moaned, leaning his forehead against the back of JJ's head. He had been a good kid, hadn't he? Hadn't he provided for his parents in their old age? Hadn't he earned a break now…now that they were DEAD?

"I don't care if they beat each other a freaking ghostly black and blue, Rossi!" JJ all but shrieked as she pressed even closer to him. "Why aren't they moving on to those big pearly gates in the sky?"

"Stop it, Annie," Joseph groaned, looking toward his wife with a long-suffering stare. "I haven't seen Mary since that Christmas party thirty years ago!"

"Don't tell a lie, Joey! It's a sin and I think you committed enough of those in life, don't you?" AnnaMaria growled, getting her purse ready for a second assault.

"Now, Annie! Didn't we fight enough about this while we were both alive?" Joseph sighed. Casting a chilling look at his son, he muttered, "I'll find a way to pay you back for this!"

"It was you or me, Dad, going under the proverbial bus! I chose you," Rossi yelled at a seemingly peaceful grave. His dad had dealt with his mother for over 40 years in life. In Dave's opinion, he was also the best choice to deal with her in death.

"Dave," JJ whispered as the cold wind picked up around them. "Don't yell at the ghosts!" Looking around quickly, she asked, "They're the only two out here, right?"

Backing away from the grave, pulling JJ with him, "They're the only two I see," he whispered back, hoping that they didn't have a bigger audience that he was unaware of.

"Shouldn't they be going back into the light?" she worried, eyes looking toward the darkened sky for a spark of something. Damn! Not even a star out tonight.

"Maybe God realized heaven would be a more peaceful place without them," Dave groaned, hoping that the Almighty would take pity on him, soon, and reverse his original decision.

"Don't say that!" JJ wailed, her cry rolling through the otherwise quiet cemetery.

"See what you've done, Joey!" AnnaMaria railed, her hands sinking into her ghostly hips. "You've upset the little one! And we want to keep THIS one!"

"Look, woman," Joseph shot back, a longsuffering sigh leaking from his lips, "I get woke up from a nice little nap, your shrill voice blasting in my ears. I ain't exactly in the mood to greet visitors, if ya know what I mean!"

Rapidly raising her purse, AnnaMaria aimed wisely as she walloped her husband across the forehead, the purse sinking right in. "You haven't HEARD shrill yet, you old goat," she yelled, rearing back for another shot.

"Dammit, Pop, duck!" Rossi yelled, shifting JJ again as he watching his mother prepare for a second shot. "Her aim's only improved with time!"

"What's going on?" JJ demanded, her eyes widening as she felt breezes flow rapidly around them.

Measuring his words, Rossi said judiciously, "Mama's venting her frustrations. I'm sure they'll both feel better after they have a chance to chat."

Pulling JJ back another step, Dave called, as his mother smacked his father with her oversized purse again, "Well, it was nice to see you both. I'm sure we'll see each other again. Hopefully, many, many years from now! Pop, good luck! You'll need it! Mama, I'll tell the girls you said goodbye!"

But his seemingly quick escape was about to be delayed. Seriously delayed.

"David Rossi, you stop right there!" AnnaMaria ordered, pausing in her assault on her long-dead husband. "Don't you move!" she commanded. "You and I still have some business to complete. Or do YOU see a bright light yet!"

Teeth clenched, JJ whispered, "Move, Rossi! You just told them adios! We need to vamoose!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do, JJ?" Rossi muttered, frowning at the sight of his mother heading their way. He had a sinking feeling that he would not be able to outrun a ghost that could magically appear at will anywhere that he was.

"Davie, I hope you didn't think you were going to get out of answering those questions I asked you earlier," AnnaMaria demanded, her purse hanging at the ready on her pale elbow.

Giving his wife a wide berth, Joseph appeared on Rossi's other side. Rolling his eyes, he stage-whispered to Rossi, blowing in his ear, "Better you than me, son. What'd ya do to piss her off this time? And again, who's the doll? Third wife?"

"David…." JJ said slowly, unknowingly wrapping her arms around his waist as she pressed closer, "Why do I feel like they're looking at me?"

"Ha!" AnnaMaria crowed, before Rossi could even get his mouth open. Motioning at JJ, she spat out, "He only WISHES this little one would marry him! "

"She's not my wife, Pop," Dave groaned, glancing down at JJ. And after all that he had put her through tonight, she might not ever speak to him again either.

"No! I'm not good enough to be a wife of his," JJ huffed, her anger rising back to the surface from his earlier diss.

"I never said that!" Dave growled, yanking her closer. "You and Mama have been putting words into my mouth all damn night!"

"Get used to it, son. They follow you all the way into death to do it," Joseph sighed, shaking his head dolefully as he avoided his wife's eyes.

"Mama! Find the light! Please! You want me to beg?" Dave moaned piteously. At this point, he'd be willing to do anything, absolutely anything, to get these two to their eternal resting place.

"No begging, Davie. You don't want to be cursed, then you do what I say. I want you to take this little one on a real date, son!" AnnaMaria declared, eyes narrowing as she glared at him.


	12. Chapter 12

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 12**

"A date?" Rossi asked carefully, feeling JJ stiffen next to him.

"A date? Are you asking me for a date, Rossi? In the middle of a cemetery? Surrounded by the ghosts of your dead parents?" JJ yelped, turning to stare at him as if he'd lost his mind. Not the first time that thought had crossed her mind, she had to admit.

"So I take it the blonde's not one of our daughter-in-laws?" Joseph said, patting his pockets, then looking up ruefully. "Been looking for my pipe for years now. Keep forgetting, you know."

"It was a nasty habit, Joey, and I was not sending you into the hereafter with something that was going to kill you!" AnnaMaria declared, waving her hands in the air.

"Like he's not already dead," Rossi muttered, then ducked slightly as his mother's purse raised high in the air.

"Ask him about daughter-in-law number three," AnnaMaria hissed, stalking closer to her son. "He left out some interesting details, Joey!"

Not wanting to risk any more ghostly displeasure than he had already experienced, Rossi said quickly, negotiator skills kicking in, "Okay, okay! If JJ will agree to go out on a date with me, will you two PLEASE make your peace with St. Peter and spend some time in the clouds?"

"Wait just a damn minute!" JJ declared, turning to poke Rossi's chest. If he thought that he was going to put all of this on her shoulders, he had another thing coming. "Don't you dare make me the bad person if YOUR parents won't listen to YOU!"

"I like this one," Joseph whispered to AnnaMaria, a benevolent smile on his face. "She's got spunk."

Grabbing her hands again, Rossi yanked JJ closer as he said, muttering as he begged, "Just agree, Jen, enough to get them out of here! You can back out later, I promise!"

"And what if I don't want to back out?" JJ asked pertly, wondering where that had come from. She was beginning to wonder if she had started to channel his mother. Or if she was losing her mind!

"Then I'll take you wherever you wanna go, babe," Dave said, willing to promise her anything if she'd only just cooperate for five minutes.

"Someplace nice," AnnaMaria sighed, remembering the first date she had with Davie's father.

"Someplace expensive," Joseph nodded, remembering the first date he had with Davie's mother.

"Someplace soon, if it'll get you two to depart into that bright white light," Dave growled, glaring at the two smiling troublemakers.

"You're being extremely rude to the people that created you," JJ snapped, slapping his chest with her palm. "And I think they've proved that they can take you out, too!"

"See why I like her, Joseph," AnnaMaria nodded approvingly.

Nodding, Joseph moved next to AnnaMaria and wrapped his arm around her, sinking his hand through her shoulder as he said, "Sight better than those others, that she is."

"Glad to see you two are bonding over JJ. She'll be thrilled to know." Rossi griped, lacing his fingers with JJ's as he yanked her close again.

Looking up sharply, JJ said, voice suddenly brightening, "They like me? Really? How sweet!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're their favorite." Rossi rolled his eyes as he added, a thought popping into his mind, "Hey, babe, since you're on their good side, you tell them."

"Tell them what?" JJ asked blankly, her face scrunching as she looked at him again. He might be privy to those other-world conversations, but she wasn't. He was going to have to provide more details if he wanted her involved.

"Tell them to get the hell out of here, babe!" He then added, encouraging, "They'll listen to you!"

"I can't tell your parents to leave, Rossi," JJ whispered, horrified. "They'll hate me!"

"So, you'd rather I walk around talking to myself like a stark raving lunatic," he asked quickly, appealing to her compassionate side. "Somehow, I think Hotch'd frown on that! He already threatened to put me with the shrink at work when I called him at one this morning."

"You called Hotch!" JJ exclaimed, wondering what her Unit Chief had thought about that.

"Yeah, I was desperate and he was less than thrilled! Please, babe!" Dave begged, pulling her even closer.

"Fine," she hissed. Sighing, JJ looked at the gravestone, hoping she was aiming in the right direction. "Uhhh, Mr. and Mrs. Rossi, I think we've handled all your unfinished business, so maybe you could just scoot toward the light now?" JJ asked, faltering.

"What light?" the two ghosts asked in unison, looking at each other in confusion.

"There's no light on this side, Davie," Joseph muttered, looking around.

"JJ," Rossi said, worriedly, "They say that there isn't any light! Why isn't there in light?"

"How should I know," JJ replied, feeling desperate. Since when did she become an expert in crossing over? "Maybe we missed a step."

Glancing around, as if he could make the light magically appear, Rossi caught glimpse of the urn sitting at the bottom of his father's grave. "That's it!" he exclaimed, staring at the metallic container with great interest.


	13. Chapter 13

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 13**

"What's it? What's going on?" JJ asked quickly, willing to grasp any straw thrust their way. Years from now, she might think of this night as an adventure, but right now, at this point in time, she was more than ready to bail out with any excuse possible.

"Mama's ashes!" Rossi exclaimed, yanking JJ with him as he moved closer. "We have to do something with Mama's ashes! That's what started this whole thing!"

"What started this," AnnaMaria reminded him with a stern voice, "Was you and your sisters inability to follow simple directions. Grave, good. Cremation, bad. Remember those words?"

Rossi nodded, choosing to avoid fighting with his dead mother once again, instead choosing to refocus her energies. Smiling tightly, he said, cajoling, "You wanna spend eternity with Pop, right, Mama?"

"Again, son, do we need…." AnnaMaria started, only to have the ghostly Joseph slap a hand over her mouth.

"Don't get her started, Davie," Joseph sighed, then yelped as AnnaMaria ground her ghostly teeth against his fingers. Cursing, he yelled, "If I had blood, you'd have drawn it, woman!"

"What's going on, David?" JJ asked, once again glancing around rapidly as she could have sworn she heard a faint curse being muttered.

AnnaMaria smiled saccharinely-sweet as she said, "That didn't work for you when we were alive, Joey. Death has apparently not improved your memory."

"Tell you in a minute, babe," Rossi said, turning his attention back to his parents. "Okay! Listen up!" Seeing that he had the undivided attention of the living and the dead, Rossi let go of JJ's hand and carefully popped the top on the urn. "Here's the plan. Mama, I'm gonna put you with Pop, okay? Will that bring us some closure here?"

"Dammit, Rossi, I'm not gonna be involved in digging up any graves, you hear me?" JJ hissed, staring at him in horror.

"Don't you dare desecrate my grave, Davie," Joseph said, wafting towards his son threateningly. "Annie girl, talk to your son!"

"Why is he always my son when he does something stupid?" AnnaMaria groaned as she swatted at her dearly departed husband.

"Because that's when he takes after your side of the family," Joseph retorted, dodging her flailing hand with ease.

"Focus, people...I mean, ghosts!" Dave growled. "We're not digging anybody up...we're just gonna add you to the mix, Mama," Dave said, tipping the urn and spreading the ashes over the grave.

"David Rossi! Don't you dare mix me with common topsoil!" AnnaMaria shrieked, zooming toward him with a blast of light. "It's undignified!"

"David, what are you doing?" JJ asked, her eyes widening . Pulling on his arm, she said, concerned, "Your Mama's not gonna like that!"

Feeling his mother's purse make contact with his shoulder and fly right on through, Rossi gritted his teeth at the shudder and kept to his mission, finally tipping the last ash out with a flourish.

Clapping his hands together, he said, sharply, "Okay! Somebody tell me if there's a light or a trumpet or something out there! Please!"

"I got nothin'" Joseph grumped. "Annie?"

Glaring at her son, AnnaMaria hissed, "David Rossi! You just dumped me on the cold ground like manure. I cur-"

"NO! NO more curses, Mama!" Dave shouted, waving his hands in the air as he hoped he had caught her in time.

"I told you not to do it!" JJ wailed, scrunching her face at the thought of another round of dealing with ghosts and spooks and things that go bump in the night.

"Wait! What's that?" Joseph said, surprised, pointing to a point in the distance.

Following his finger, Dave shook his head as he stared into the midnight-black sky. "Pop, I don't see anything."

"Ohhhh, it's so pretty," AnnaMaria sighed, moving to her husband's side.

"I think that's our bus, Annie," Joseph said hopefully, drawing his wife even closer as their bodies began to fade together.

"Speak English, folks," Dave yelled, waving his hands around as JJ hovered just behind him. "Do you see a big ass light?"

"Language, Davie," Mama chastised, briefly drawing her eyes away from the comforting light she saw to gaze sternly at her oldest son.

"Sorry, Mama," Dave mumbled. Reminder to self, he muttered. Don't piss off the dead people any more than necessary.

"It's there, Davie!" Joseph said, bouncing excitedly on the tips of his ghostly toes. "Goodbye, cramped coffin! HELLO, Paradise!"

"Then run as fast as your ghostly feet will take you!" Rossi yelled agitatedly, his voice rolling around the empty graveyard. "Don't miss it, people!"

"Are they seeing it, David? Is it there?" JJ asked, feeling the urge to jump up and down for joy. He eyes scanned the heavenlies once again, hoping that she might suddenly see a flash in the sky.

"They say so," Rossi said, pulling her back against him as he wrapped his hands around her waist. Neither one of them noticed when she leaned her head against his shoulder like it had always belonged there.

"Whattya say, Annie?" Joseph asked, pulling his wife closer. "Ya wanna spend the rest of eternity with me?"

"Say yes, Mama," Rossi ordered, calling over JJ's head. "And get to moving!"

"As long as that tramp's nowhere near, I'd say you got yourself a deal," AnnaMaria said, patting her husband's cheek as they started floating higher and higher. Calling down at her son, she said, laughing, "Davie, we'll be watching you! You be good to the little one!"

"Leave the boy alone, Annie!" Joseph said, pulling her even higher. "We kinda got more important things to deal with, don't you think? The kids can fend for themselves now!"

And David Rossi watched as his parents faded into the sky.


	14. Chapter 14

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 14**

When he finally blinked, his eyes dry from the sheer amount of time he had spent staring into the nothingness, Dave realized that JJ was yelling at him frantically.

"David! Dave! Snap out of it, you moron! Those are flashing blue lights and, in case you missed it, we are breaking and entering!" JJ hissed, dragging him toward the iron gates once more.

Quickly looking at the gate, Dave muttered, "Son of a gun! God decided to cut us a break!"

Staring at the padlock resting on the ground, JJ lifted her eyes heavenward, moaning, "Thank you!"

Dragging JJ through the metal opening, Dave pushed her gently toward the car, the sound of sirens growing louder. "In the car, JJ. Move it along, honey!"

"You don't have to tell me twice," she said, quickening her steps to a slow jog as she aimed toward Rossi's vehicle. Reaching it in double time, she jerked open the passenger's door and threw herself inside at the same time he climbed in beside her.

Not hearing the engine start, she said, impatiently, the sound of sirens growing louder by the second, "Go, David! Start the engine!"

"Oh, shit, shit, shit!" Rossi yelled, searching his pockets then pounding the steering wheel. "I can't believe it!"

"What's wrong now?" JJ said, jerking her head around to glance through the back window. "We've got to get moving, Dave! They're almost here!"

"Need the freaking keys, JJ," he ground out , turning to stare at the blonde. "Kinda necessary to start the engine you know."

"You mean to tell me you LOST the keys? " JJ said, her tone tightening as her eyes narrowed. "Check your pockets. Now!"

"I just did!" he exclaimed. "Do I look like an idiot? Wait...don't answer that question."

"Check again!" she demanded, reaching across to pat his jacket pockets. "They have to be in there!" Glaring at him, she hissed, "I am NOT going to be arrested because of you and your crazy-ass relatives, David Rossi!"

"Ya think it was my plan to spend the night at this freak show, babe?" Rossi said, once again reaching into his pockets. His eyes widened considerably as his fingers came into contact with the warm pieces of metal. Yanking them out, he yelled, "Yes! Here they are!"

"Then put them in the damn ignition and move!" JJ growled, casting a nervous glance over her shoulder.

Five minutes later, both occupants of the vehicle breathed a long sigh of relief, finally feeling for the first time tonight that they might actually be somewhere close to the realm of sanity once more.

Casting a sidelong glance at her unlikely partner in crime, JJ tried to swallow the giggle building in her throat. But, it couldn't be squashed.

Hearing her begin to laugh, Dave drew his eyes from the road to smile ruefully in her direction. "What's so funny over there?"

"I was…I was…." She tried to get out, but felt her chuckles overtaking her words. Finally, she said, still letting out small giggles in between words, "I was just trying to imagine Hotch's face if he had to bail us out of jail in the middle of night because we broke into a cemetery with the ghost of your dead mother. Because she told us your father was cheating on her in death! He'd COMMIT us, Rossi!"

"Listen, babe," Rossi said, reaching over and grabbing her hand, pleasantly surprised when she automatically laced their fingers together, "As far as I'm concerned, nobody's gonna ever know about this little adventure of ours. And you and I are gonna forget about it, too. Think that's a good idea?"

"Well…." She drawled out, turning sideways in the seat to grin at him, "Now that it's over, and I'm certain that we didn't hallucinate it all, I kinda wanna remember a few parts."

"Yeah?" Rossi asked, navigating the curve as he glanced her way, grinning. "And which parts would those be?"

"Well, watching you fall over that fence flat on your ass would be at the top of my list," JJ giggled again. "You should have seen the look on your face."

"She pushed me over! She's lucky I didn't break my fool neck!" Dave grumbled defensively. If he ever saw his mother again, he might have a few words about that little adventure.

"But you didn't," JJ sighed, wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Keep laughing and see if I don't come back and haunt YOU, Agent Jareau," Dave winked, suddenly wanting to see that look of joy on the blonde's face forever.

"Oh, no," she grinned back, feeling him squeeze her hand as she added, laughing, "One haunting in my life is more than enough, thank you very much. Your parents were enough for a lifetime!"

"I know the feeling," Rossi said with feeling, fighting back a shudder at the memory. "And with any luck, and a blessing from St. Peter himself, we might just never have to worry about them again!"

Leaning back in her seat, JJ said with a laugh, "Of course, your mom did throw another stipulation at us. You think she'll leave the light to come back and haunt us again if we don't fulfill our end of the bargain?"

Rossi turned into her driveway then, and threw the vehicle into park. Cutting the ignition, he turned sideways and said, seriously, "You wanna back out of our date?"


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N - Loyal readers, here's the finale. Hope it was worth the ride. Please let us know what you thought. As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds._**

**THE HAUNTING OF DAVID ROSSI**

**CHAPTER 15**

JJ tried to measure his gaze in the pale moonlight, but couldn't read a thing in his eyes. She finally said, softly, "I'd hate to disappoint your mother. From what you said, she might not take that kindly."

"I'd hate for you to disappoint me," Dave replied steadily. "Besides, a deal is a deal, right?"

"I think we'd better assume so. I think your mother takes her threats rather seriously," JJ smiled, biting back a shiver as she felt his thumb sweep across her palm.

"My mother," Rossi said thoughtfully, then suddenly just stared off into space.

JJ looked at him, eyes narrowing as she wonders, for a moment, if he's suddenly losing it again. She said, carefully, "Dave? You okay?"

He pressed a finger to his lips, and says, softly, "Just listen, babe."

"Oh, no," she whispered, her stomach sinking as she imagines the worst. "She's not back, is she?"

He shook his head as a small smile crossed his lips. "Nope, just listening to the total silence. It's just you and me now, thank God."

Letting out a sigh of relief, JJ squeezed his fingers as she said, a smile in her voice, "I'll join you in that thought." Drawing in a deep breath, she said, reluctantly, "I guess I need to get back inside. We've got to be at work in a few hours, you know."

Rossi raised his eyes to hers and said, ruefully, "I guess I've drug you from enough of your beauty sleep. I'm sorry, babe, but I didn't know who else to turn to."

JJ shook her head as she let go of his hand, opening her door. "Nothing to be sorry for. All's well that ends well, Dave."

He nodded, then opened his door and hurried to her side, not wanting to miss a single moment with this unbelievable woman. JJ raised an eyebrow as he laced their fingers together again, and said, grinning, "Planning on coming back in?"

"Hey, woman, my mama raised a gentleman," he shot back quickly, his smile widening as they walked slowly down the stone pathway. "You wouldn't want her to have another reason to curse me, would you?"

"Oh, perish the thought," JJ giggled, leaning closer to him. Glancing up at the night sky, she suddenly stopped, and said, excitedly, "Look, David!"

"Look at what, honey?"

She pointed up toward the darkened, starless sky and said, amazed, "Shooting stars! I didn't think there were any stars out tonight!"

Rossi watched in silent appreciation as the two flashing and falling lights streaked across the midnight backdrop. When the lights finally faded into the distance, he said, drawing her nearer, "You know the tradition, don't you?"

Tearing her eyes away from the unexpected phenomena, JJ said, cocking her head, "What tradition?"

Pulling her into the circle of his arms, Rossi cupped her cheek as he said, whispering against her lips, "If you kiss a beautiful woman after you see a shooting star, all of your dreams will come true."

Feeling her heart beat rapidly in her chest, JJ allowed her hands to creep around his neck as she whispered back, "Does it work if I kiss a handsome man? Does the tradition work both ways?"

He nodded slowly, the feel of her delicate fingers against his neck causing him to think thoughts that his mother just might not approve of. "There were two stars, you know. One for each of us."

"I'd say it was a sign from the heavens, then," JJ agreed, head shaking in slow motion.

"Glad you agree," Rossi replied, moments before his lips descended on hers, taking easy advantage of her willing offering. Moaning against his soft invasion, JJ molded herself against him, her tongue joining his in a dance as old as time.

And there on her front porch, Jennifer Jareau and David Rossi knew that all of their dreams were definitely going to come true. Thanks to his dearly departed mother and her meddling ways.

It was written in the stars.

**_finis_**


End file.
